Bottle of Blues
by sweeet-as-honey
Summary: Cal books a holiday for himself, Ethan and Matilda. It's nice to get away from everything - until something goes wrong. Set about 5 months in the future.
1. Chapter 1

_I had this idea and I thought I should post it quickly as it looks like something similar will happen in tomorrow's episode. There will be two chapters. I really hope you enjoy it._

 _I also hope no part of the story is disrespectful to gypsies or travellers - I am very proud to have gypsy blood, though I don't follow many traditions, and no disrespect whatsoever is intended._

* * *

Ethan was exhausted. He'd had a very long shift and all he wanted was to sit down to have some dinner (which he was really hoping Cal might have cooked while Matilda was having one of her naps), have a hot bath and then get an early night.

He knew there was a fair chance that not all of this would go according to plan, but one thing he had expected to be able to do was to get through the front door.

Ethan shoved it a few times without success, then he got out his phone and called his brother, hoping that he wasn't elbow-deep in Matilda's nappy. "Cal? Have you put loads of stuff next to the front door again? I can't get in."

"Oh, yeah… I meant to move that," said Cal guiltily. "Just give me a minute."

A couple of minutes later, Ethan heard something being moved away from the door.

"Okay, Nibbles. You can come in now."

Ethan pushed open the door to discover the hall was full of suitcases. "Caleb, you're not leaving the country, are you?"

Cal gave his brother a triumphant smile. "No. We're going _into_ the country."

"Are we?" said Ethan without enthusiasm.

"It's the best idea I've ever had!" said Cal - these words were always a bad sign. "Just think about it, Nibbles. You, me, Matilda, a caravan, three whole weeks in the country."

"A caravan?" Ethan said doubtfully. He thought he would be very happy in a caravan, but he wasn't so sure about Cal.

"It's a caravan in a traveller community," explained Cal, seemingly oblivious to Ethan's reaction. "One of the travellers is running a business by hiring out empty caravans."

"And were you planning on telling Mrs Beauchamp about this?"

"It was her idea," said Cal.

Ethan looked at him incredulously.

"She said we were both looking exhausted and we should take some time off," said Cal. "And you don't argue with the boss, do you? So it's all sorted. We're leaving tomorrow morning."

"Right," said Ethan faintly. "I suppose I'd better go and pack then."

"Oh no, not yet!" Cal looked quite shocked at the idea. "First you've got to go and say hello to your gorgeous little niece. Then you've got to come and eat the delicious meal I've cooked for you."

Ethan couldn't help smiling as he went off to obey Cal's instructions. There were worse things than coming home to a cooked meal and a beautiful baby girl.

He just wished he could be sure the holiday wasn't a ,mistake.

* * *

Cal took Matilda out of her car seat and showed her around the tiny caravan. "So, this is where you're going to sleep… this is where Daddy and Uncle Ethan are going to sleep… this is where we're going to wash your dirty…" He stopped. "Ethan, where's the washing machine?"

Ethan looked amused. "Cal, you can't hire a basic caravan like this and expect to find a washing machine. We'll just have to wash the clothes in the sink or drive into town to find a laundrette."

"The town's fifteen miles away!" said Cal. He was annoyed. The website hadn't said anything about the caravan not having a washing machine. He looked around the caravan again. He wasn't sure, but he had a feeling there was something else missing. Something very important.

It came to him in a flash of horror.

"Ethan, there's no bathroom!"

"Of course there's not," said Ethan patiently. "This is a gypsy caravan site, you said."

Cal was shocked by his brother's ignorance. " _Traveller_ , not 'gypsy', Ethan. 'Gypsy' is rude."

"I believe the man who let you hire the caravan described himself as a gypsy," said Ethan. "But let's say 'Roma' for the sake of argument. Some Roma believe it's unclean to go to the toilet in a place where you prepare food. So washing your bodies and anything else that would usually take place in a bathroom takes place in a utility block – which was pointed out to us when we arrived."

Cal's horror continued to grow. "So that's what the utility block's for!"

Ethan smiled. "Cal, you really should research these things before you book. But I have no objection to a utility block. You have them on campsites after all."

"Okay," said Cal. "As soon as I've fed Matilda, I'm off to the _utility block_ for a nice, hot bath."

"Um, I'm afraid you're almost certainly not," said Ethan. "Traditionally, Roma believe that it's disgusting to have a bath as it involves sitting in your own dirt. As these particular Roma are letting their caravans to non-Roma, it is possible that baths have been added to the utility block. But I would be inclined to doubt it."

Cal sank down on one of the beds and put his head in his hands. This holiday seemed less and less fun with every passing minute.

"How was your shower?" asked Ethan when Cal returned.

"Lovely and warm," said Cal. "But then I got cold again walking back here. Can you make me some tea to warm me up?"

Ethan grimaced. He'd known this moment would come, but he hadn't expected it to be quite this soon. "I can, but I'll have to go to the utility block."

Cal sighed. "Okay. You go and have your wee or whatever and I'll make it."

"No, that's not what I mean," said Ethan, a bit nervously. One of the problems with Cal was that he did sometimes blame Ethan when things weren't perfect. In this case, it wasn't Ethan's fault as Cal had made the booking, but that wouldn't stop him from blaming Ethan. "There isn't any running water in the caravan."

Cal stared at him, then he started to laugh. "Yeah, good one, Ethan. You nearly convinced me."

"No, I'm serious," said Ethan.

"So, if I turn the taps on, nothing happens?"

"I'm afraid not," said Ethan.

Cal shook his head. "You must be doing it wrong." He went over to the sink and turned on both taps.

Nothing happened.

"There's running water in the utility block," said Cal. "I'll get some from there."

Cal filled the saucepan with water and carried it carefully back towards the caravan. He saw a girl coming towards him and nodded in a manner he hoped would be interpreted as friendly.

The smile she gave him was rather shy, though not unfriendly, but her expression changed when she saw what he was holding. "What are you doing with that?"

"We have no running water in our house," said Cal. "We want to make a cup of tea."

The girl shook her head. "Oh, no. You can't drink water from the utility block. It's not clean water because we wash in there."

Cal looked into the saucepan in alarm. "So this is recycled water you've washed in?"

"Of course not," said the girl. "But you can't drink water from there. You just don't do it. But it's okay." She smiled at him. "There's a well at the other end of the field. You can use that."

"A well?" said Cal doubtfully. "Is it safe? We have a six-month old baby."

"We use it all the time," said the girl. "We've never had any trouble with it. If you want to use water from the utility block, I won't say anything, but some of us are more traditional than others. Drinking water from the utility block is actually considered really disgusting. Like… I don't know. Like going to the loo, not washing your hands and then eating with your fingers. If my dad caught you, he could have you thrown off the site. But the well is fine."

* * *

The holiday turned out to be much more enjoyable than the initial signs had suggested. The water company said they couldn't fix the problem until after the holiday had ended, but Ethan soon got used to going to the well for water and even Cal had got used to it by the end of the second week. The gypsies at the camp were mostly friendly and although some weren't, the same could be said of some of Cal and Ethan's neighbours in their block of flats.

"I'm almost sad we'll only be here for another week," said Cal.

Ethan nodded. "I do miss our colleagues, but I do love getting away from everything."

"I wasn't sure I could cope to begin with," admitted Cal. "But needing a wee in the middle of the night aside, I've quite enjoyed it." He smiled. "And so has Matilda, which is the important thing."

Ethan checked the time. "Speaking of my beautiful little niece, it's time for Matilda's feed."

"I'll do it," said Cal at once, and went over to the cot to see if she'd awakened from her nap.

Ethan returned his attention to the book he was reading. Usually, he had little time to read anything other than textbooks and research papers, but it had made a nice change to read novels instead.

"Ethan!" said Cal, his voice about an octave higher than usual. "Come quickly!"

Ethan threw his book aside and hurried to Cal's side. "What's wrong?" he said, but then he saw for himself.

The fact Matilda had thrown up all over her cot was no particular reason to worry. She was a baby after all. The fact she was dribbling copiously wasn't necessarily a problem either as she could be teething.

But the blue tinge to her lips showed that something was badly wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

**Tato Potato** , thank you for your review. I'm really happy you like the story so far.

 **Tanith Panic** , I feel the same about utility blocks - I'm very glad I've always lived in a house with a bathroom! Thank you for your review.

 **CBloom2** , I thought Cal would like his mod cons! This story could have been a comedy, but the inspiration was a medical condition that required particular circumstances. Thank you for your review.

 **beckyboogle** , thank you for your review - I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.

 **LittleBritishPerson** , I'm glad you found that part amusing - even tragedies can have funny moments and I couldn't quite imagine Cal reacting in any other way. Thank you for your review!

 **20BlueRoses** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you like the interactions between the boys - that's one of the best things about writing about Cal and Ethan!

* * *

"Ethan, what are we going to do?" said Cal.

"Have you checked her airway?" said Ethan, but Cal just looked at him in blank terror. "Okay. Let me do it."

He bent over Matilda and opened her airway, but there was no visible obstruction and no she didn't appear to be choking. It didn't seem like croup either as there were no signs of coughing or stridor, but Ethan checked her ribs and chest to make sure and was relieved to see no tightness there.

"I'll ring for an ambulance," Ethan said as calmly as he could. Cal was clearly panicking and that meant Ethan had to stay calm.

"We can't!" Cal's voice was trembling. "We haven't got reception."

"Then I'll phone from the farm next door," said Ethan. "I'm sure they won't mind as it's an emergency."

But Cal shook his head. "There's no time. It will take ages for the ambulance to get here. We have to drive her there ourselves. We're both doctors. There must be something we can do for her."

"We can't be sure at this stage what's wrong," said Ethan. "We don't have the equipment to diagnose it - and probably not the medicine to treat it. But we can go in the car if that's what you want. I'll drive and you can sit in the back with Matilda."

Cal nodded and took a few shaky breaths. "Okay. I'll bring her."

"I'll get her car seat and make sure she's got plenty of spare nappies and formula," said Ethan. He touched Cal's shoulder. "We'll get her there safely. Try not to worry."

"Try not to worry?" Cal shouted after him as he went to get the car seat. "She's my baby and her lips are blue and you tell me not to… oh God, Ethan: her hands are blue too!"

Ethan returned to his side with the car seat. He could feel his heart thumping, but he knew he wouldn't help matters if he let himself panic. "Come on, Cal. Let's go."

"I'm scared," whimpered Cal as they went out to the car.

"I know," said Ethan as he gently rubbed Cal's back.

He decided not to tell Cal that he was scared too.

* * *

It felt like the longest car journey of Cal's life. He sat in the back of the car, his eyes fixed on Matilda. She was unconscious now and her breathing was shallow and rapid.

"Ethan, drive faster. Please drive faster," begged Cal.

"I'm doing my best, Cal, but I don't want to endanger Matilda by breaking the speed limit," said Ethan.

"What's wrong with her, Ethan?" asked Cal, not for the first time.

"I really don't think there's anything to be gained by guessing," said Ethan gently.

"It's obviously something that causes cyanosis," said Cal, his breaths came in gasps that were almost sobs. "It's central rather than peripheral as her lips are blue, though there could be some peripheral as well as her hands are blue." He gave another gasping sob. "It's probably a congenital heart problem, Ethan, isn't it? Something that wasn't detected at birth!"

"It's impossible to say," said Ethan. "It could be a problem with the pulmonary system; the cardiovascular system… we can't know until we've got to the hospital and they've run some tests."

Cal stroked Matilda's hair and felt tears rolling down his cheeks. "Heart failure. My baby girl has heart failure. Or a heart defect. Or a pulmonary edema. Or a haemoglobin disorder. Or-"

"Cal, I really don't think it helps to speculate," said Ethan.

"What else am I supposed to do?" almost shouted Cal. "She's my baby, Ethan, and I could be about to lose her. And it's all my fault because I booked this stupid holiday!"

"Cal…" Ethan sounded upset too, but then he controlled it. "Cal, it's not your fault. This could have happened at home too. You mustn't torture yourself. Just think about Matilda."

"I am thinking about Matilda!" sobbed Cal. "I can't think of anything else. I just want her to get better and if I can work out what's wrong, the doctors will be able to help her quicker." Cal kissed Matilda's forehead. "I love you, Matilda. I love you so much. Please fight this, darling. Please stay with me. Daddy loves you so much and he can't cope without you."

Ethan's voice remained calm. "It won't be much longer now, Cal. Probably no more than ten minutes."

"Matilda could die in ten minutes!" cried Cal.

"Do you think she's getting worse?" asked Ethan.

"I don't know…" Cal felt as though he didn't know anything at the moment. He searched his mind for more causes of cyanosis, even though he'd done it several times already. "She doesn't have any lung conditions that we know of. She's been inoculated against whooping cough. I think we'd know if she had pneumonia or bronchitis. It's unlikely to be bronchiectasis: she hasn't had a severe lung infection. Pulmonary embolism… no. Acute respiratory distress system… Oh God, Ethan: it could be ARDS. Could it be sepsis? No: she hasn't had any infections. Acute pancreatitis… I would say she's much too young, but you never know."

"Cal, I'm really not sure this is helping," said Ethan gently. "It's not helping Matilda and it's only making you more upset. Why don't you stop thinking about what might be wrong and focus on comforting Matilda? Talk to her. Sing to her. I'm sure that will help her more than panicking."

* * *

Ethan was so relieved to get to the hospital and hand Matilda over to a doctor. Of course, he and Cal were doctors too and could have run all the tests the doctors were ordering, but there was a reason why you weren't supposed to treat relatives.

They were asked to sit in the relatives' room. Cal, of course, began to argue, but Ethan finally managed to persuade him. Cal wasn't crying anymore, but he was very shaky. Ethan put his arm around his brother, as much to give himself something to hold on to as to comfort Cal, and waited.

"Maybe we're thinking about this in the wrong way," said Cal.

"Just don't think about it at all," said Ethan. He didn't think he could cope with any more of Cal's attempts to diagnose Matilda. It had been terrifying listening to Cal naming all the possible conditions Ethan was trying so hard to push out of his mind.

He knew his little niece could be dying and he didn't know how he'd managed to stay so calm.

"There are lots of causes of cyanosis," said Cal. "Too many. But maybe what we should be looking at is how Matilda's life has changed recently."

"Cal, please don't," whispered Ethan. Now he didn't have to concentrate on driving, he was barely keeping it together.

Cal ignored him. "Obviously, it's the holiday. The stupid holiday in the middle of nowhere that _I_ booked! Where she's been living on well water and…" He stopped suddenly. "Well water!"

"It could be the water," allowed Ethan, "but we've been drinking the same water and so have a lot of the people on the site."

"So it's something that would affect a baby but not us… like methemoglobinemia!" said Cal.

Ethan tried to push his emotion aside. "That's a rare condition, Cal."

"But it's caused by nitrates in drinking water," said Cal. He was beginning to sound almost excited. "Ethan, isn't the level of nitrates in water higher in rural areas?"

"Yes, it is," said Ethan with sudden interest.

"And the site is right next to a farm," said Cal. "Where they'll be using manure and fertilisers, which will increase the level of nitrates."

"And bottle-fed babies are more at risk," said Ethan. He looked at Cal. "I'm pretty sure the symptoms fit…"

Cal nodded. "They do fit. Tell me if I've got this right, Ethan. The nitrates are converted to nitrites in the body. The nitrites react with haemoglobin to form methaemoglobin, which means the blood can't carry as much oxygen around the body… resulting in cyanosis."

"That's right, Cal - and the treatment is supplemental oxygen and methylene blue," said Ethan.

Cal got to his feet. "Come on, Ethan. We've got to find the doctors treating Matilda and tell them."

"They probably know by now," said Ethan,

"Maybe they do," said Cal, who was already walking towards the door. "But that's my baby girl and I'm not taking any chances."

* * *

Cal looked down at his daughter. She looked tiny and weak and vulnerable and even though he was used to seeing medication being administered intravenously, it was so different when it was his baby girl. He stroked her hand, his eyes blurring with tears. "Matilda, I'm so sorry. It's all my fault."

"It's not your fault," said Ethan. "You couldn't have known about the nitrate levels in the well. Or the fact we wouldn't have water. "

"But how could I have given my daughter water from a well?" said Cal.

He felt Ethan rubbing his back. "The Roma use it and they presumably give it to their babies."

"They probably breastfeed theirs," said Cal. "Bottle-fed babies are more at risk."

"I'm not sure they would breastfeed their babies," said Ethan. "I've delivered a Roma baby in an emergency situation and the mother refused to breastfeed because it's not part of her culture. Perhaps the nitrate level is just particularly high at the moment, but that's just bad luck – and the important thing is we got her here in time. It's very difficult to prevent things from happening to your children. All you can do is deal with it in the correct way when it happens – and you did."

"But it was still stupid of me," said Cal. He sighed and stroked Matilda's fingers some more. "I'm sorry, darling. I'll try to be a better daddy. Just please get better for me so I'll have the chance. I love you, Matilda."


End file.
